Pictures

family of 5

going home!

ready to go

everywhere we go the boys fall asleep-like father, like son

almost 3 weeks of laundry:(

Life at Home

We arrived Monday afternoon to LAX, I almost kissed the ground of good ole US of A, but decided against it since our airport is embarrassingly unattractive and extremely unhygienic compared to other international airports-why is that?  The day prior to our departure our sweet boy and I were alone packing our bags in preparation for our trip.  He asked me which children's home he was going to in America.  I asked him again what he meant because I was confused by his question; I realized he thought he was going to another orphanage.  I told him that he was going to our home with his mom, dad and sisters.  I reiterated this two times and when it registered he hugged my neck and wouldn't let go.  My heart felt so pricked by his question, his little five year old mind couldn't possibly make sense of what a family was-he never experienced it.  The flight went extremely smooth, though he never played video games-boy genetics I assume- as he was able to turn on his monitor screen and figure out what/where to go without the ability to read or know the alphabet.  After his meal, which he throughly enjoyed, I told him it was time to sleep and he did without fussing (ahhh wish I could bottle this).  He woke up with the smell of breakfast, while he was kicking his feet with delight at the sight of food, he ate everything.

Shall I splurge and buy him a new helmet?

We went through immigration and the surly officer wanted to interview Braeden alone.  Jeff gave me that pleading look not to make waves as he saw the determined maternal lioness surfacing.  I politely mentioned that our son was monolingual and passively-aggressively asked if he spoke Korean.  The officer stated that the interview would be facilitated in English.  You are probably wondering what I was thinking--bureaucracy amongst other rated R thoughts.  We did get through the process without having Braeden deported or me arrested.  We left the airport and went to Irvine where we had Subway for lunch as the very thought of Korean food makes us a little sick.  We watched in disbelief Braeden inhaling the 6" lunch meat sandwich filled with lettuce and tomatoes-it was impressive but yet worrisome of how his little body would digest the massive amount of food he was intaking.  Finally, we made it home and to our delightful surprise our friends and neighbors had adorned the house inside and out with signs of welcome and decorative balloons.  The fridge was filled with Korean food for Braeden; in our garage there was a new bike for him.  Words cannot describe the love we felt.  Thank you friends!

Neighbors came one by one with gifts and while using their feet as stoppers to our door they poked their heads to see the celebrity:)  So in the end I did not get to cocoon him as he wanted to find out who each person was and wanted to get to know their children.  He loves children as evidenced by his approach to a crying child at Old Navy (all the clothes I bought him from Nordies doesn't fit as he is a size 3) he went to the little child and gently handed him a ball.  Braeden is a soft spoken boy who appears to observe and process; he shows affection and openly receives affection.  He shares that he loves America because of the toys he plays with and the trains that he has.  He said in the orphanage they shared one Thomas the train.  He also said that he loves his mom, dad and sisters.  All this to say that the transition is going remarkably well.  However,  I would not be truthful if I didn't include that it still feels that I am his caregiver and I hope that the authentic feeling of parenthood will come-I have these irrational fear that it won't which keeps me up at night.  Britney says it wisely that it feels like we are babysitting him and Jeff says confidently that time will equal intimacy.   He is so lovable!

Boy parts!

Things have been going very smoothly, its a bit eerie how wonderful the transition has been.  Brooke and Britney get the majority of the credit because they are entertaining, loving and compassionate.  Jeff and I are still like two deers in front of headlights especially when it comes to the "boy parts."  To sit him down or to stand him-that is the question.  Neither at this point seems to work well, it goes everywhere:( We need a urinal!

First 48

We started the day at Eastern Social Welfare Society (Dillon’s co-op agency), there we received the documents that would allow us to leave the country with our son.  We also met with the president and had lunch with her.   Our highlight at Eastern was the opportunity to hold some babies that needed to be soothed.  Crying babies were instantly comforted.

We then took a van ride to our one hour destination - Suwon.  The rain was pouring outside and the mention of it, our daughter Brooke said it made it more memorable, such the romantic.  When we reached the orphanage, we were met with warm staff members who had been preparing for our arrival.  The director met us with an embrace and asked us to sit in the room where we had seen two videos made of Braeden.  The girls instantly recognized the blue chairs with the yellow cushions.  We made small talk and I couldn’t stand it anymore, I asked when we were going to meet our boy.  The director instructed her staff to bring him in.  Within moments, while holding hands with his “mother” he walked in, it was a surreal.  He gravitated towards Brooke and made a connection with her first and then to Britney.  His two “mothers” did a wonderful job preparing him for his new family; they spoke to him every night about him going to his forever family and to America.  When we felt he was acclimated we asked my parents to come in, all instructions were thrown out the window because they ran to him and scooped him up and squeezed him.  They both said they had been waiting for him and asked if he waited long--he said, “yes!”  He held onto my mother, who at this point was crying-my dad (the weeper of the family) was also making tears as well.  My sweet boy held their face and wiped their tears.  The director at this point too was crying and saying to Braeden, how rich he was now.  I was observing all this in disbelief, but when I saw how our son was soaking it all up, all theories went out the window and I thought to myself just feel the love my son-we are all here for you.  

While holding onto his sisters hands we took a tour of the orphanage where he lived since he was 16 months.  His little peers were all shouting and asking if we were his family.  As orphanages goes, it was clean, well staffed, wonderful extra-curricular activities for the children, and the environment was warm.  When it was time for us to leave he jumped in the van and motioned for his sisters to join him.  He didn’t say good-bye to his “mother” or the director; they were surprised, but the director said she was glad he was ready to leave.  When the van left the grounds of the orphanage, he asked where we were going and we told him we were going to the hotel.  I made the mistake of leaving my cell phone and so we had to U-turn and go back--he anxiously asked why we were going back and held onto us.  

Our little guy eats well, sleeps well and is appropriately affectionate.  He prefers his sisters, but when he hurt his hand and bit his tongue (eating meat-his favorite) he came to me; when he needs to go to the bathroom he goes to his dad.  When either Jeff or I need to go out to get something, we give him a choice to stay or go with one of us, he chooses neither of these two choices, but asks the whole family to go.  The first night we gave him a choice of who to sleep with, he chose to sleep with both his sisters.  The second night, he chose his dad.  Its an out of body experience and we still have not caught up to our bodies yet.  We are set to arrive home on Monday and we can’t wait for our rhythm of our lives to begin. 

The day is here!

Today is the day we meet our little guy!  We finally get to meet the person who has grown in our hearts for 16 months.  We pray as a family that we will have unconditional positive regard; this term was coined by Carl Rogers and is the basic acceptance and support of a person regardless of what he says or does. We realize this journey will not be easy and we go in it with our eyes wide open.  I haven't been this excited since my first neuroscience class, I mean when I was getting married to Jeff.  I haven't been this anxious since ever.  Will he accept us?  Will he be scared?

We thank Boo's birthmother for choosing life and giving him to us as a gift; we hope to raise him into a man after God's own heart.  Though he was not birthed from us, he was birthed from our hearts.  The hurts that he has experienced we won't be able to erase but we hope that we can help carry his yoke.  

Now we are going to listen to Black Eye Peas as a family!  

I gotta feeling that todays’s gonna be a good day

That todays’s gonna be a good day

That today’s gonna be a good good day (x3)

Today’s the day day

Let’s live it up

Whispers From God

Hello! Its Brooke again


This year I grew not only as a person, but also spiritually.  I had all the opportunities to grow closer to God.  Something I'm not sure I've really tried to do before.  During all of my retreats, conventions, ect.  I learned the following:


1) Our eyes are open to God very few times in life, those times are where the most powerful lessons are learned.  However, as humans we can only see the true essence of His glory for a brief amount of time. That is why these moments last for mere seconds.


2) As much as we want to control our lives, we will never be able to completely because God is the one with the plan for us.  As long as we trust in Him and His word, He will lead us to the road we need to see. The road that will lead us to our place in life through blind faith. 


3) God does not place temporary things in our lives (thanks Jenna Lucado!)


4)We cannot complain about God not telling us where to be in life when we are not paying attention to the tugs on our hearts. Tugs become whispers and the whispers become messages. Messages from God.


I have learned much, especially about God's Brooke, not the Brooke I thought I was.  I understand that God speaks to me through words, my language of love. 


On my first retreat I learned to pray.  I prayed through my writing, in a journal.  About half a year ago I was worried about the adoption.  So, in a prayer cave on top of a rainy mountain I wrote in my journal. I asked God about my fear, the fear I didn't understand.  I waited.  I listened.  I opened the bible.  I pulled the bible open to a random page.  The first random line I read was:


GOD PLACES THE LONELY IN FAMILIES~ psalms 68:6


Not so random huh? Every fear I have had about welcoming a little brother into our family vanished. My eyes were wide open in those few seconds as I saw God.  I believe in Him, I believe in this adoption. Every time my faith starts to shake, God has been there to teach me in ways I never could imagine. Every time my faith in this adoption started to quake it all came down to those words:


God places the lonely in families...


because I knew Boo was the lonely little soul in the world, and we were the family that God placed with him.  So now without a shadow of doubt I can happily say.....


"Hello Boo, welcome to the family." :)

Rapid Heart Beat

2 more days till we meet our boy!

New Adventures

Since our arrival to Seoul we experienced the subway, bath house and Lotte World Amusement Park.  Brooke and Britney absolutely loved the subway system, the new experience was exciting for them and no ride at Lotte World compared to standing (or in their case hanging) while holding the handle to our destination.  Very few seats were available and while Jeff was able to find a seat, we quickly told him it was reserved for the elderly or a parent with a young child-Brooke not missing a beat volunteered to be his infant daughter and sit on his lap-Rachel too not missing a beat said that he easily fit in the "elderly"section and for him to remain seated-Jeff shot up.  The girls loudly would announce at every stop that it wasn't our destination yet, their thick Americanized accent while saying the names of the stop left the passengers (irritated) giggling.

Rachel and the girls entered the bath house with their swimming suits on.  We were discreetly (as quiet as the Lee's can be) soaking in the tub and the girls were not laughing about "cauliflower looking" buttocks of the women 65+ or their similar "helmet" style perms they all possessed.  We were minding our own entertainment when a cantankerous old woman came and demanded that we take our swimming suits off.  Ugh, party buster!  I said, "No speaka Korean,"  (oops, why did I have a Korean accent speaking English, I hope she didn't notice).  She was persistent and in the end our fun ended and we left.  Rachel knowing her propensities said to her future self-"Self when you become 65+ don't be grumpy!" Okay I said it and I won't be now:)  

It is hot in Seoul and it feels even hotter because the thermostat is put on a high level for conservation.  With the hot temperature in pursuit of us, we went to Lotte World Adventure Park, which has an indoor and outdoor section.  Theoretically, it was impressive to have roller-coasters and hot air balloons indoors-amazing, but the trapped indoor heat felt like global warming and outdoor rides had no shade so it was pretty miserable.  But...the frugal Asian in me pops its ugly head at the oddest times, such as when we bought all-day passes.  So no matter how miserable we are, we are gonna have FUN begins to be demanded.  Yes, I did end up self-therapizing myself and doing some Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy and we left after only a few rides.

Hmmm, no wonder my kids don't whine

Donuts, Oh My!

Slushies

Popsicles

To tour or not to tour...

 We finished our tour by visiting beautiful Seoraksan National Park, it is one hour away form the border of North Korea.  We took a cable car to the top of the mountain, there we climbed to the peak-the sight was magnificent.  On our way back to Seoul we had an opportunity to make our own duk (rice cake).  The girls both agreed making duk was the high point of their Korea tour.  All in all we felt the tour resulted in what we all wanted which was to experience Korea in a short and concentrated way.  It gave us a kaleidoscope of what the Korean culture was and is; I am glad that we did it.

Rachel's dad with the girls at the top

The rice is pounded till its solidified

MISC

I think they are missing a middle sized head

Korean Tapas

One of our last few pics of the family of 4

4 Americans, kiosks and a bird

Visualize this street while I tell this story

We landed in Busan from Jeju-Do Island.  After settling into our hotel we went exploring and found this street filled with vendors (I call it kiosks, but Mr. Jeff Lee aka. world traveler would disagree) selling socks/pajamas/underwear mixed with shell fish/dried pollack/more edible bugs.  We were minding our own business, snapping pictures and basically exploiting these business owners so that I can add to my Experiencing Korea album.  Unbeknownst to us a bird was watching (if you get embarrassed watching shows where people make fools of themselves, you might not want to read the rest of this post).  This bird obviously did not appreciate loud foreigners, because he scooped down skimming each of our heads...the next scene is not very pretty. Brooke, terrified of pigeons, screams at the top of her lungs and grabs the first person, which would be me (Rachel).  She pulls me down, my feet slips out of my flip-flops, putting my whole feet on one side, going up to my ankle.  Rachel tries to catch her fall by going down on a kiosk table.  All this being watched by the vendors along with Jeff who is observing this unfold while carrying my large black purse.    

On the positive note-Eureka underwear problem partially solved-Brit is a proud new owner of 5 new ones, purchased from the vendor I "fell" upon:)  

How would Carl Jung interpret this dream?

I was panic stricken when I was awoken by a dream that seemd so real that I had rapid heart beat and difficulty breathing.  In my dream I was at a facial clinic (probably due to my "real" outbreak of acne which I can only attribute to my elevated anxiety); I was recieving my treatment when I overheard a petite woman, sharing amongst her colleagues, that she was looking for her son.  She began to detail the facts that replicated our son's story. She provided the identical date of birth and his birth name.  I remember in my dream the dilemma of whether to provide this young woman with what I knew or to walk away...I wish I could say that I would do the right thing, but when in that predicament I am not sure I would have the sacrificial heart to give our little boy up.  Needless to say I felt raw and vulnerable all day, mixed with this tremendous guilt of the possibility that I could walk away from that situation without divulging what I knew to connect birth mother and son. 

Out of the mouthes of babes

The snack of champions: Oreo/Fanta

Britney as we predicted is having the most difficult time with the Korean diet.  She is our All-American Asian.  She likes her pancakes/bacon in the morning, peanut butter/honey sandwiches for lunch or on those "wild days" a salami sandwich, and baked potato/mac & cheese/pizza for dinner (by golly-all organic of course-what kind of mother do you think I am? did I mention I feed her fruit?)  I don't know how she stays so trim.  During a deep thought moment, she says to me, "I think one of the hardest transition for Boo will be the food when he comes home, because I am having a hard time during this trip and I couldn't imagine how hard it will be for him.  So lets have Korean food as much as we can to help him transition."  Mom-"what about you?"  Britney-"I don't mind making the sacrifice, if it means it will help my little brother." (We speak a lot about growing our heart and making it bigger with Britney) Well Brit-I think indeed your heart has expanded and as a result I choose to be a short-order cook!

Spicy-Salty-Spicy  All I crave is TOAST

The grandparents

So did I tell you that my (Rachel's) parents and our close family friends are on this journey to support us?  Well let me give you a glimpse into my parents on this trip

My 70+ dad was the only one who volunteered to ride with Britney on this very high speed boat excursion; he is also the one after a long-long day who is swimming with her as I type.

I am going to have to carry them into the hotel; good thing I am a P90X graduate:)

Glimpse into our day!

Amazing day filled with hiking, a cultural show, Anthony Bourdain like food, and more hiking

Swinging at the Spirited Garden-Jeju-Do

Please child, kinesthetically learn something and put that book away

Great show, but not quite what I remember conservative Korea being-it was like Korea collided with Las Vegas

Bunge-Koreans eat these bugs-it comes fried, I am a Southerner and I like most fried food, but we will pass on these edible bugs (talk about oxymoron)

"Oh my stomach-those bunge did not settle well"--just kidding

On the other side of the wall its a cliff which suddenly drops, my husband who
 is a nervous nilly did not like me walking on the wall so he came to "save" me